No one’s Messiah



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To Christian men and the churches they attend:

I am not your Christ.

Churches may try to put women on a cross, sacrificing them so that men may be pure and holy.

But I am not your savior.

Churches may expect women to keep silent, to hide their talents, their bodies, to sacrifice who they are to protect men from sin and shame.

But I am coming down off of that cross.

Churches may ask women to endure abuse for a season–like Christ endured crucifixion–so that abusive men might be saved.

But I am no one’s fucking Messiah.

I won’t take the beatings. I won’t bear the shame. If that makes me a bad Christian, fine. If that means I’m going to hell, show me the door.

I’ll let myself in.

Because I know what real hell is like. I’ve been there. Real hell is pretending to happily, silently endure physical, spiritual, verbal, and sexual abuse in hopes of drawing my “brethren” back to the light. Hell is having to bear the sins of Christian men in my body. Hell is hanging on a cross built by a church, dying to save abusive men.

I won’t go through that again.

I am not your Christ.


20 thoughts on “No one’s Messiah

  1. Pingback: Crucifixion and Liberation |

  2. Reading this post… wow… I want to say thank you for giving me words to put to my experience. So often I find myself, a lover of the written language, without words to express my story. You have helped me understand myself in a new way by sharing your story. Thank you; from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

  3. These are words that will bring healing to many.

  4. Amen. This is phenomenal.

  5. Going to talk to my boss at the mega-church in 1 1/2 hrs, Sarah…say a prayer for me! Time to be done with this charade.

  6. This is so powerfully written, thank you!

  7. All I can say is: THANK YOU!!!

  8. The more I read this, the more I want to scream it at random passers-by. And everyone who ever told me that it’s MY responsibility to make sure my “brothers” don’t sin, that it’s MY responsibility to “bring them to Jesus” through covering up, through letting them abuse me without a word, through lying to people about their virtues so I’m not seen as bad-mouthing them. This is amazing. AMAZING. Amazing.

  9. Well done!!

  10. Oh yes!!! Thank you so much, I am there with you girl!!! I. So sick of havimg men’s egos written on our bodies!

  11. Wow. Yes. This needed to be said.

  12. A special blessing to you, Sarah for this courageous writing…so fitting and timely for me as I prepare to resign from my staff position at a mega-church tomorrow!

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