I don’t always finish what I start. About two weeks ago, I promised a series on the good and bad of Disney Princess movies. But I never finished writing even one post besides the introduction.
Perhaps someday I’ll pick the series up again, but at this point I have lost interest. I quit because I got stuck. I had ideas. I even made an outline (and I never do that). But the first movie that I planned on analyzing, Beauty and the Beast, hit much too close to home.
The “bad” that I was going to write about in my analysis of Beauty and the Beast was that it gives girls an incentive to stay in abusive relationships. It promotes the “I can change him!” ideology.
And though I’ve mentioned before that I was once in an abusive relationship, I’d never written much about it. I thought I was prepared to explain my failures to “change” the boy that I was with.
But when I sat down to write, I found that I wasn’t as prepared as I’d thought.
I realized that it takes ovaries (which is a feminist’s version of saying “it takes balls”) to talk about abusive relationships. And I wasn’t quite ready to send those naked thoughts out into the world quite yet.
What if that ex-boyfriend finds this and reads it?
What if telling my story makes people think that I was weak and stupid?
What if people don’t believe me?
And then I realize that these are the thoughts going through the heads of so many women in the world right now. And abusers want these thoughts running through the heads of women so that the cycle can continue. So, perhaps it’s time for me to start talking.
I won’t promise another series, since I’m not sure how much talking I’m actually ready to do. But I hope that I can start being a voice on this issue. Because women who have been/are being abused need a voice. Women who have not been abused need to hear those voices as warnings. And the men of the world that respect women may need help understanding this issue.
So, I’m going to be a voice. I may start out as a quiet one at first and my voice may crack a little (like I said, I couldn’t even bring myself to write about Disney princesses because of this, so it’s difficult). But I’m going to be a voice.
So, what about you? Do you have something to say for those who feel stuck in silence? Maybe we can speak together.
When we have a voice, we empower others to speak. And maybe one voice can’t drown out the lies, but a chorus sure can. So, if you’re ready, join in. If you’re not, don’t worry. Send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org)- I’ll do my best to be one for you.
But no more silence.